"1Q84" and re-visit there

So, after coming back from the Japan trip, I have sent myself into the "1Q84" world.
...Maybe you don't know what "1Q84" is. It is the newest novel written by Haruki Murakami.
Interestingly, when I read his book, my situations/mental conditions have somehow synchronized with the stories in many ways. It always makes me surprised.

***

I encountered a Zen monk during the last trip. He shared a piece of Zen philosophy with me. It was really a significant moment during the trip. By reading Murakami's book, I recall, re-visit, and re-consider it.

"Think and find your own answer by yourself"
I'm in the flow....


This time, Murakami wrote a relationship with father(s). I think that this is the first time he has done (in this way). It gave me kind of different perspective of it.

I sealed my memories with my father for a long time. But because of some of recent occasions, something led me re-open it... Very complicated... Be honest, I found out one very simple thing that I could not say before.
Sound very childish... but... I just wanted to have a father who really loves me no matter what I have done/who I am. I just wanted to be loved. wow... I had not even found such a simple thought in me. Anyway, unfortunately I could not get the chance. He disappeared before I could see father in him.

...There is a hole in the middle of myself. I try to avoid to see it but it is there. well, I admit. So... What can I see through the hole? Have I tried to see something from there? ... I don't think so. Yet. Maybe, thinking this will be a trigger to move next... (I'm not sure...)

By visiting Japan in this time, I can't stop thinking what my root is.
It is... I think important thing to think deeply.

Where should I go? What have I done and can I do? Actually.... who am I? There are many questions...

I could hear the voice...
"Think and find your own answer by yourself"

...Yes, I'll do.


T


http://tokoshiiki.com