Uploaded new images onto my site.........

I wrote this kind of thing on my site so it's kind of redundant but... anyway....
Since 2011 winter, I have focused on myself as a photo subject. Through many different points of view, I have been searching and learning about myself and life, examining the past and present to find out where I am, internally. I am not sure whether I know then now where I am or who/what I am but... I think more important thing (rather than having the conclusion) is continuing learning that in life. Live with the questions.

I have never concentrated on myself for this long time span... Before starting this "Inner-life Documentary series", (which I named this btw) I never thought I would photograph myself like this many. Really...

2 years ago, Summer 2010, I decided to focus on my issues inside me. After then, I have been really continuously finding many many things in me. I'm still in the process of learning but now - after 2 years passed, I can say, I have learned a lot. I could gradually accept me as just I am, too...  

I didn't upload the one of the series which I started in March. I just finished the prologue. Anyway, unusually I've been excited about this images. It'll need some more time to continue this journey, which I feel so fortunate and thankful......

Anyway... If you are curious what I have been creating... it is on my site, at "Inner-life Documentary Series"..............

Toko

http://tokoshiiki.com

Grief

"Grief Moment"

When I was much younger (during early teenager), many times I said to myself - "I want to be a strong person"

... I thought a strong person was someone who would never be sad or down because of what other people had done to the person, or no fear against anything in life, or didn't cry much, or could fight against something wrong bravely, or could say what he/she thought honestly to anyone.

Maybe they are also not wrong (there is no specific correct answer for this, I think... each people might think differently) but...
...but then, now, at this point of my life, I think... "a strong person" is more like... someone who can face to their own weakness/shadow and instead of closing eye or running away from them, rather, confront the shadow inside themselves (even if it's with a huge pain) and, even if deep darkness covers up them and can not see well, still never give up to step forward.
And...
To do so, I think it's okay to cry too. It's okay to have grief moments. (I could not cry at all when I was little. I'm now telling, "You can cry. It's totally okay thing.") Also I think it's okay to feel fear. It's okay to ask a help when I needed. And then once the tear-clouds has gone and became clear sky spread in myself, again, move forward...
Every time I have a grief moment, something melting inside me. Something has been purified deep inside me.

...I believe that this is not only the way to be strong but to me, this is very significant thing to keep in my mind.


I can cry now. Actually I somehow cry everyday. With or without reasons. I didn't know that I have needed this for a long time. I've been little by little, releasing and..........

Toko

http://tokoshiiki.com

Photo news update.

I got this notification yesterday. I am very thankful for this... because this series do not complete yet and I felt this notification is an encouragement for me... This series is the work that I have been working on since last Fall. This whole process is very important to me. Like I mentioned, this is not completed yet (this is a part of the whole series) but anyway, I'm glad to show them.  Now, I started preparing for new part. Very exciting to move forward, again...Yes, this is my photographic journey.

*****
"2010 International Photography Awards Announces Winners of the Competition" 
(from the Press Release)
Toko Shiiki was awarded an Honorable Mention in People - Other category for the winning entry "Midlife. – Chapter 1"


Entry Description: This is my story of midlife awakening. The concept for this photographic project arrived while I was constructing some egg shell forms; In the middle of a journey, I'm in-between birth and death. After long conversation about "midlife" with my husband, age 42, I felt – very clearly – that I must do this photo project with him. This project is not a fantasy for me, it is an inner-life documentary. Poised between now and now, the series continues.
winner's gallery

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Actually, these images on the gallery are not all from the series. I uploaded the images from the Chapter 1 to my website: http://tokoshiiki.com/midlife_chapter1/index.html

Also, two of my images from the series are scheduled to be published in the portfolio section of the September 2010 issue of Photographer's Forum Magazine. If you have a chance to see the magazine, please check it out. And let me know what you see...  

Thank you... Toko

*****
IPA:
The 2010 International Photography Awards received nearly 15,000 submissions from 103 countries across the globe. IPA is a sister-effort of the Lucie Foundation, where the top three winners are announced at the annual Lucie Awards gala ceremony. The Foundation's mission is to honor master photographers, to discover new and emerging talent and to promote the appreciation of photography. Since 2003, IPA has had the privilege and opportunity to acknowledge and recognize contemporary photographers' accomplishments in this specialized and highly visible competition. Visit www.photoawards.com for more details.


http://tokoshiiki.com