Grief

"Grief Moment"

When I was much younger (during early teenager), many times I said to myself - "I want to be a strong person"

... I thought a strong person was someone who would never be sad or down because of what other people had done to the person, or no fear against anything in life, or didn't cry much, or could fight against something wrong bravely, or could say what he/she thought honestly to anyone.

Maybe they are also not wrong (there is no specific correct answer for this, I think... each people might think differently) but...
...but then, now, at this point of my life, I think... "a strong person" is more like... someone who can face to their own weakness/shadow and instead of closing eye or running away from them, rather, confront the shadow inside themselves (even if it's with a huge pain) and, even if deep darkness covers up them and can not see well, still never give up to step forward.
And...
To do so, I think it's okay to cry too. It's okay to have grief moments. (I could not cry at all when I was little. I'm now telling, "You can cry. It's totally okay thing.") Also I think it's okay to feel fear. It's okay to ask a help when I needed. And then once the tear-clouds has gone and became clear sky spread in myself, again, move forward...
Every time I have a grief moment, something melting inside me. Something has been purified deep inside me.

...I believe that this is not only the way to be strong but to me, this is very significant thing to keep in my mind.


I can cry now. Actually I somehow cry everyday. With or without reasons. I didn't know that I have needed this for a long time. I've been little by little, releasing and..........

Toko

http://tokoshiiki.com